Jottings from notebooks in the past few months.
There are three escalator tracks. Two going up, one going down. I’m on the one in the middle, going up. The universe is in balance, and the world is alright again.
Middle child (13/05/2015)
I knew a middle child once.
He was the most successful of his siblings.
The middle child syndrome is a myth.
We are each our own beings.
Some boy’s music (12/05/2015)
What are you listening to?
Some boy’s music.
Why would you listen to a boy’s music?
So I can get close to him.
There’s a kind of hunger that does not need entertaining.
Sleep it off, work it off, and it would silent itself off.
Sleeping lure (07/05/2015)
There’s a kind of headache that even coffee can’t cure.
It’s not a hangover, it’s called a sleeping lure.
It happens inside the mind, in the late afternoons, and it feels like war.
“I’m so much happier now.” But as soon as she said it the magic wore off, and her lie fell apart.
What kind of insecurity is that
To assume all identities
Until you are none
To morph and to disappear
Faceless in the crowd
Not wanting to be known
Music to medicate your soul in the middle of the night
When the world is asleep but your mind is wide awake
Out of the highway with a glass of wine to accompany
Me into the night, until the day wakes, and it’s time for bed.
On Top of the Hill (26/04/2015)
On the top of the hill with four barrels of paint
She sits alone, a finished job
Now there’s another world’s pain.
There’s a painting in her mind
Of a future far away
She eats the thinner of the present
So she can have the treasure of the future.
The Yellow Canary (26/04/2015)
This morning I saw a yellow canary
It was perched atop a pinang tree
You’re four weeks late I say
I asked to see you before this day.
This morning I saw a yellow canary
It was flying outside my window pane
I didn’t think you’d remember I say
Your breakthrough is coming, don’t worry.
You came too late, I said
My mind’s already gone away
Hope has flown out the window
I don’t want to see you again.
Facebook asks me, what’s on your mind?
Do you really want to know, I said
But you’ll tell all my secrets
Broadcast my opinions to the world
It’s ok, he said. I have privacy settings.
It’s true (23/04/2015)
Do you need a body next to you
In the restaurant in the cinema
You can always hire one
He/She comes from an app
The Mandarin Orchard (21/04/2015)
The Mandarin Orchard is madness at 35 storeys high
At that altitude it overlooks the dark top of Takashimaya
Ngee Ann City is not a city
Opposite is a black box coffin called Gucci
Made for suited mafias from Sicily
Twinnings English Breakfast tea
Nescafe gold blend, Coffeemate creamers
Najib jokes, Putrajaya and GST
The Mandarin Orchard melange has begun
The Mandarin Orchard is a villain
From a superhero movie
He wears an orange glow
With a dragon tattoo on his back.
It’s true (19/04/2015)
Hate shows on the face
Leaks from the eyes
Poisons from the inside
Frankly speaking (13/04/2015)
I’ll tell you something funny, I’m always getting angry
At the post office, when I’m queueing up
To buy stamps, just wanna buy some stamps
But our demands are not always equal
Between bills and taxes and philatelic needs
Between airmails and parcels
Small big and medium
To register or not to register
Frankly it’s just too funny.
The sense that people are not being genuine or authentic. The sense that you simply exist as an accessory, as an appendix.
Are you putting on a show?
Yes, I’d like to know.
Look me in the face and tell me how you feel.
You and I, we haven’t a clue.
Paths that cross (05/04/2015)
Paths that cross
Cannot be uncrossed.
Bridges that are burned
Cannot be unburned.
Except maybe from sheer willpower
Or the summon of divination.
Once upon a time you believed in someone. Someone who would make you proud, someone who would lift you up. But that day is gone, and you’ll never get it back.
Honey don’t you know
That people love you
And the world is alright with you.
When I saw the Indonesian flag (19/03/2015)
White is the colour of blood. Pure blood.
Red is the colour passion. Pure passion. And death.
Prom date (05/03/2015)
Who will pick me from amongst the crowd?
I stand by the corner, waiting to dance, and to be gazed upon.
Fall off (02/03/2015)
Once I was a part of you. Now I’ve fallen off the system. I walk among you, but I’m no longer one of you. Still I rise, thankful to be alive. I leave at rush hour, so I could be amongst you.